Chapter 32: Contraception

Qiuyue narrowed her eyes, her gaze sweeping fleetingly over Hushang’s face. She felt a secret prick of annoyance that such exquisite features should belong to a man, only to be wasted on a eunuch.

"Oh, you’ve come. I suppose now that no one is watching over you, you must be living quite comfortably."

Qiuyue deliberately frowned, her tone sharp. For some reason, she had never liked Hushang, feeling that he radiated an unpleasant aura.

"Thank you for saving my life yesterday, Miss."

As Hushang spoke, he bowed deeply. Qiuyue jumped, stepping back several paces in sudden wariness.

"There is no need for that. It was merely an order from the Concubine; I just happened to mention a word to Eunuch Zhang. As for what Eunuch Zhang did, I know nothing of it, and you need not concern yourself with it."

Qiuyue waved her hands repeatedly, clearly wishing to avoid any further association with him.

"My mistress showed mercy to this servant. How could I ever forget? Even if I must serve as a beast of burden in the days to come, I will repay this debt."

Hushang finished his words with intensity. Instinctively looking up, his gaze drifted past Qiuyue to Shen Quanyi, who remained engrossed in conversation with Madame Liu, a smile lingering on her lips. His eyes dropped, landing on her fair, jade-like feet resting on the floor.

Sensing a gaze upon her, Shen Quanyi stood up and frowned, looking toward the doorway. Because Qiuyue was blocking her view, she could not clearly make out the person standing there. She stepped forward, and in Hushang’s eyes, those slender ankles tensed slightly with the movement.

"Who is there?"

As soon as she spoke, Qiuyue turned slightly, and Shen Quanyi finally saw the person across from her. She suddenly snapped to her attention, realizing her attire was disheveled. Flushing with annoyance and embarrassment, her chest heaving slightly, she quickly turned to pull down her sleeves and hide the cup of cold wine she had been holding.

"Do not be alarmed, my lady. I am hardly a man, after all."

Hushang spoke with such calm, direct candor, devoid of any awkwardness, that it eased much of the tension in Shen Quanyi’s heart. Yet, a trace of embarrassment remained. Recalling his status as a eunuch, Shen Quanyi pursed her lips in silence, lowering her head to adjust her wide skirt, which effectively concealed her feet.

Hushang stood in the doorway, back arched, hands tucked into his sleeves, offering her a gentle smile. With such features and grace, he looked like a refined scholar. Somehow, Shen Quanyi was suddenly reminded of the cold, sinister malice of the Zhang woman. What must Hushang have endured in her presence to have survived at all?

She dared not dwell on it.

Hushang knelt at the threshold and knocked his head against the floor several times. He did so with such sincerity that his pale forehead immediately reddened. Seeing that the situation had turned strange, Qiuyue and Madame Liu exchanged glances and quietly retreated.

Under the veranda, the room suddenly fell silent.

Shen Quanyi frowned as she saw Hushang rise. A jarring smear of red was visible on his hand, half-hidden by his sleeve. She couldn't help but wonder why he was always getting hurt, or if perhaps his previous wounds had never healed. Hesitating for a moment, she grabbed a handkerchief from the side and tossed it toward him. "Wipe that off."

Hushang caught it carefully. His cold fingers touched the warm fabric, and he felt a sudden heat spread through them.

He smiled faintly. "It is not an injury. It is not my blood."

If it was not his own blood, Shen Quanyi frowned, recalling that the Zhang woman had been beaten to death in public today. Since Hushang had come to see her now, he must have been there to witness the execution.

The Zhang woman had died before his very eyes.

Shen Quanyi’s heart skipped a beat, but looking at the glint in Hushang’s eyes and the slight upturn of his lips, she could not suppress her wariness. Her tone was cold: "You once said there would come a day when I would have use for you. You were waiting for me, weren't you?"

Hushang’s smile was beautiful. Behind him, snowflakes drifted down, falling onto his shoulders; the vibrant color of his features was now dusted with snow.

"Naturally. Once those words were spoken, they were for a lifetime. I am willing to serve by your side for all my days." His tone was calm, yet profoundly earnest.

Hearing this, Shen Quanyi pulled at the corner of her mouth in a faint smile. She slowly paced toward the kneeling Hushang, standing over him, her posture imposing. Hushang looked up at the face so close to his own, appearing momentarily dazed. Shen Quanyi leaned down, shortening the distance between them, and her sweet, warm breath brushed against his face.

He could almost hear the beating of his own heart.

Shen Quanyi paused, suddenly reaching into Hushang’s robe to retrieve the handkerchief, then straightened up.

Hushang realized his lapse and quickly lowered his eyes, not daring to look up. But the person opposite him would not let him be; her slender, white fingers gently hooked his chin, forcing him to look at her.

"There is indeed one thing that only you can do for me."

Shen Quanyi’s voice was soft and delicate. Standing so close, the words seemed to slip from her lips directly into Hushang’s ear, making him feel a strange, itchy thrill.

"Please, my lady, give your command."

Hushang’s tone was sincere. As he looked down, he caught sight of Shen Quanyi’s bare feet beneath her skirt; the nails of her five toes were painted with red balsam, making them look even more like white jade.

"I do not wish to have a child for the time being." Shen Quanyi’s words were heavy, pressing down on Hushang’s heart until he could barely breathe. He met her firm gaze with a look of slight confusion.

"Rest assured, my lady. I will see to it."

Though he had his doubts, Hushang did not ask why. His immediate agreement piqued Shen Quanyi’s interest. She leaned down deliberately, tugging at his collar with one hand while poking his flushed ear with the other.

"You don't even ask? You must know whose concubine I am. If this were discovered, you would surely be tortured to death." Shen Quanyi softened her tone, teasing him like one might play with a cat.

"My life belongs to you, my lady. You may take it back at any time."

Hushang lowered his head. Suddenly emboldened, he reached out to pull at the hem of her skirt, shielding those enviable jade feet from view, and whispered, "Please keep me by your side, my lady. I want to serve you in the future."

Watching his small actions, Shen Quanyi pretended not to hear him and merely smiled. She lifted her chin, and Hushang, knowing his place, did not press his request further, bowing as he retreated. She remained in the doorway, watching his retreating figure.

In her heart, she pondered: the Eastern Palace was filled with women, yet the heirs were few. Was it that those women could not conceive?

Of course not.

She was merely a lowly concubine. If she had a child, could it be born safely? Even if it were born, could it be raised by her side?

The answers were all "no."

She would never allow a child to become her shackles.