Chapter 5: Hanging Himself Up
At first, only a handful of people noticed Long Chen’s presence. But when Yu Shinan, provoked and seething with anger, pointed directly at Long Chen and demanded a contest of couplets, Long Chen instantly became the focal point of this diplomatic confrontation.
Empress Luo Xi glanced back at Long Chen, then at the Empress. The Empress hesitated—she had no idea just what this eunuch was truly capable of. If he only had a smattering of skill, it would be an utter disgrace for the Eastern Zhou.
Moreover, sending a eunuch to the fore suggested that the Eastern Zhou was devoid of talent.
“What’s wrong? Are you afraid?”
Having been called a bastard by Long Chen in front of everyone, Yu Shinan was beside himself with fury, determined to take his revenge.
Long Chen rose from his seat at the back, fixing Yu Shinan with a cold gaze. “Very well, but first hang up the white silk—whoever loses, hangs himself.”
Yu Shinan, goaded to the brink, snapped, “Fine! Don’t you dare regret it!”
Long Chen turned to Empress Luo Xi. “Your Highness, please hang the white silk.”
She lowered her voice and warned, “Are you sure you can do this? Don’t act rashly!”
Long Chen chuckled softly, “Of course I can. I’m a man, after all!”
A sharp intake of breath followed.
Empress Luo Xi, Xuan Yi, and Qing Yue all stared at Long Chen in shock.
Damn, he let that slip!
A sly smile crept across Empress Luo Xi’s lips. “Very well. I’ll hang the white silk for you!”
A chill crept down Long Chen’s spine. There was nothing good about the way she phrased that—for whom was she hanging the white silk, exactly?
Qing Yue quickly fetched a roll of white silk, tossing it up so it hung from the main beam. She tied a knot at the end—perfect for hanging oneself.
With everything in place, Long Chen strode to the center, standing face-to-face with Yu Shinan.
Yu Shinan, folding fan in hand and voice as cold as ice, began, “Idly watching the wooden frame at the gate.”
It was a character-splitting couplet, dissecting the character for “idle.”
“Thinking between heart and field.”
Long Chen replied in kind, matching the character-splitting wit.
It was a warm-up—neither side won.
“Your turn!” Yu Shinan gestured arrogantly to Long Chen.
“The silkworm is the worm of all beneath heaven.”
“The wild goose is the bird by the river’s edge.”
Another tie.
Yu Shinan sneered, “So that’s all you’re capable of? I thought you were something special. Again!”
“The earth is rice paper, the river is ink—how dare a mere eunuch attempt to paint?”
Both Empress Xingwan and Empress Luo Xi frowned. The opening line was ingenious, and it also belittled Long Chen.
Long Chen burst out laughing. “The heavens are a chessboard, the stars are pieces—can a petty old scoundrel even play?”
The Empress’s face lit up with delight. She leaned back in her phoenix chair, her fingers tapping the armrest unconsciously.
The Southern Liang Crown Prince, Li Chengtong, looked sour. He hadn’t expected such a brilliant reply from a eunuch of the Eastern Zhou’s inner palace.
“Hmph! Again!” Yu Shinan hadn’t expected Long Chen to match even this couplet. As the leading scholar of Southern Liang, to be bested in public by a eunuch from the inner palace was already a humiliation.
If he lost again, Yu Shinan would have no face left before the dignitaries of Southern Liang.
“Listen well!” Yu Shinan declared.
“Looking at the River Tower, watching the river flow; atop the River Tower, gazing at the river’s course—tower and river endure for eternity, as does the spirit of Eastern Zhou!”
Not only was every word carefully chosen, but the couplet also held deeper meaning.
The literatus Qian Jun of Eastern Zhou once matched couplets with Yu Shinan atop the River Tower. Having lost, he threw himself into the river in despair. Long Chen had chosen this as his theme, crafting this couplet.
The message was clear: though Qian Jun lost, the spirit of the literati lived on.
If Yu Shinan couldn’t answer, he’d have to throw himself into the river too.
Upon hearing this, Yu Shinan’s fan tapped nervously in his hand—again and again.
A half-hour passed. Still, Yu Shinan tapped his fan, unable to respond.
“Master Yu, have you thought of a reply yet? I’m getting pins and needles in my legs from standing so long.”
Long Chen yawned, his impatience obvious.
The Second Princess, Empress Xingwan, gazed intently at Long Chen. She turned and whispered something to the palace official, who nodded and slipped away discreetly.
Empress Luo Xi was thrilled to see Yu Shinan stumped. “Master Yu, if you admit defeat, I’ll allow you to throw yourself into the river as Qian Jun did.”
She had caught the meaning in the couplet.
Yu Shinan’s face flushed crimson, but he still could not reply. The Crown Prince Li Chengtong was baffled—when had the Eastern Zhou produced such a formidable eunuch? It made no sense.
“Master Yu, hurry up and answer!” someone urged.
“Your Highness, this couplet is simply too cunning—I cannot match it.” Yu Shinan finally conceded defeat.
“Good! To admit defeat of your own accord also takes courage. You are indeed the foremost scholar of Southern Liang!” The Empress’s laughter was hearty and full of satisfaction.
Southern Liang was famed for its flourishing literary culture, and Yu Shinan was the foremost among its scholars. For him to lose to an Eastern Zhou eunuch delighted the Empress immensely.
“Wait—best two out of three! You’ve only won one round so far. Again!” Crown Prince Li Chengtong was not about to concede. For Southern Liang’s leading scholar to lose to a mere eunuch of the inner palace—if word got out, it would be a laughingstock.
Yu Shinan stubbornly agreed, “That’s right—best two out of three. You won this round!”
Long Chen snorted, “What do you mean, ‘won this round’? A win is a win, a loss is a loss! Qian Jun threw himself into the river after losing, yet you quibble and make excuses. Old scoundrel—you truly are shameless!”
“You! You’re just a eunuch, how dare you be so arrogant!”
“Why so angry, old scoundrel? I may be a eunuch, but today I represent Eastern Zhou. If you can’t bear to play, don’t play. That white silk is just right for you—hang it up! Someone, fetch a stool for the old scoundrel!”
Yu Shinan was so incensed that he could barely catch his breath. A sickly sweetness rose in his throat—
With a violent cough, a mouthful of blood spewed forth. Yu Shinan was so furious he vomited blood on the spot.
“Master Yu!” Soldiers from the Southern Liang delegation immediately rushed to steady him.
Empress Luo Xi couldn’t help but clap her hands, laughing, “Well done!”
The Empress, seeing Yu Shinan cough blood, suppressed her laughter. “Someone—fetch the imperial physician to examine Master Yu. Don’t let him die of rage!”
Crown Prince Li Chengtong hurriedly replied, “No need—we have our own physician.”
The Second Prince, Li Jiye, asked, “Master Yu, are you all right? Coughing blood at a time like this!”
Yu Shinan wiped the blood from his lips, gasping, “No matter—I can go another round!”
The Crown Prince signaled for aides to support Yu Shinan for one more attempt.
“Qin, se, pipa—all with king above!”
Yu Shinan had finally thought of a masterful couplet.
Southern Liang had sent four princes to this diplomatic contest. The characters for qin, se, and pipa each contained the character for ‘king’ at the top, so Yu Shinan said “king above,” implying that the four princes stood above the nobles of Eastern Zhou.
“Brilliant!” The Fourth Prince, Li Wenji, applauded.
“Master Yu’s couplet is flawless—absolute perfection!” Li Wenji was the most talented of the four princes, renowned in the Southern Liang capital of Jinling, with his own Hongwen Academy.
He had been silent until now, but upon hearing this couplet, he couldn’t help but applaud.
Yu Shinan caught his breath and said, “Thank you, Your Highness. It took great effort to come up with this—ashamed, truly.”
The Empress and Empress Luo Xi immediately turned to Long Chen. One round had already been won; if this couplet couldn’t be matched, it would be a draw.
“Eunuch, your turn!” Crown Prince Li Chengtong said coldly.
Long Chen looked at the four brothers of Li Chengtong, and the deep hatred in his heart surged up once again. His eyes reddened, his cheeks twitched, his fists clenched—he wanted nothing more than to tear them apart on the spot.
“Demons and monsters—all with ghosts beside!”
Yu Shinan called the four princes “kings,” but Long Chen answered with “demons and monsters”—meaning the four were nothing but petty ghosts!
“How dare you!” Crown Prince Li Chengtong was livid—he had just been called a ghost in public.
Yu Shinan, seeing his masterful couplet matched in this way, spat another mouthful of blood.