Chapter 31: The Young Princess of the Jiang Dynasty

“Come, Che’er, you’ve always been the most obedient to your mother. Try this, won’t you?”

“Hm?!”

Empress Jiang lifted her long sleeves, picked up a piece of tea cake, and held it in her hand.

The tea cake, in appearance, was a lumpy, round object sprinkled with black sesame seeds—hardly anything to look at.

Jiang Che, the first to be named, forced a smile, took the tea cake from the Empress’s hand with trembling fingers and a pained expression. Under her expectant gaze, he stuffed it into his mouth in one bite.

“Mmm! Delicious! Mother, your skill has truly improved!”

Empress Jiang watched Jiang Che eat with satisfaction, smiling contentedly.

Jiang Che snatched the tray from the maid’s hands and set it before Jiang Ling and King Jiang. “Father, Second Brother, you must try it! It’s really good—Mother put her heart into it this time!”

Jiang Ling looked unconvinced; King Jiang’s eyes signaled: You rascal, do you think I don’t know my wife’s cooking?

Jiang Che rolled his eyes, picked up another piece, and took a big bite, “savoring” it in his mouth.

Jiang Ling, incredulous, carefully picked up a piece, about to take a tiny bite, but Jiang Che muttered nearby, “Ah, such delicious food wasted—Father and Second Brother don’t appreciate it. Sigh~”

Jiang Ling hesitated, glancing at the Empress. She was so expectant.

He cursed himself inwardly, feeling the depth of his affection, and swallowed it whole!

The moment the tea cake touched his tongue—oh! My God! The flavor was positively “intoxicating”!

Jiang Ling held back tears, surreptitiously stomped hard on Jiang Che’s foot. “Big Brother, Mother’s skill has indeed improved. This tea cake moved me to tears!”

King Jiang looked bewildered. He remembered, vaguely, when they had just wed, Empress Jiang had cooked him sweet porridge. He hadn’t the fortune to eat it and gave it to the pigs instead, who wouldn’t touch it!

Had the Empress learned to cook for his sake?

Ah, the Queen worked so hard—not only managing state affairs but honing her culinary skills for him. Yet he had been so ungrateful. It was his fault!

King Jiang imagined a grand drama in his mind, gazed tenderly at Empress Jiang, and picked up a tea cake. “My Queen, you have worked hard all these years!”

The moment the tea cake entered his mouth, his face turned from red to white. He glanced at Jiang Ling and Jiang Che, and those two scoundrels were actually snickering!

King Jiang forced a smile as he swallowed the tea cake bit by bit, as if chewing on grass roots or shoe soles—life worse than death.

Even as he ate, he did not forget to smile encouragingly at the Empress.

Empress Jiang was very pleased, placing two plates of tea cakes down and remarking, “Next time, I’ll try some new recipes. If only Yue Ru were here; her culinary skills are excellent, and we could exchange pointers…”

Jiang Ling tiptoed, bent over, watching Empress Jiang’s figure disappear around the corner. He slammed the door shut and vomited violently in the hall. Jiang Che and King Jiang followed, all sense of dignity lost.

White lumps dotted the floor; Jiang Jiu, nauseated, leaned out the window for air.

After a bout of retching, the three men lay sprawled on the carpet of the hall, survivors of a disaster. They were determined to cherish their lives and steer clear of tea cakes!

King Jiang, recovering, flicked each of them on the forehead. “Of all the people to trick, you keep picking your old man! A bunch of rascals!”

Jiang Jiu brought over three cups of tea. “Big Brother, Second Brother, Father, rinse your mouths.”

King Jiang was moved to tears—daughters were indeed more considerate!

Looking at the trio’s sorry state, Jiang Jiu truly felt Jiang Che was ruthless—he ate two pieces without a change of expression and even managed to fool others!

“Is it really that bad?”

Jiang Jiu’s gaze fell on the plate of tea cakes; she considered picking one up to study it.

Jiang Ling swiftly blocked her. “Put it down! Don't touch it!”

King Jiang’s pupils widened at Jiang Jiu’s move, and he shouted, “Jiu’er! Don’t touch!”

Jiang Jiu stood still. Under King Jiang’s gaze, Jiang Che rolled up his sleeves and, pinching the tray with thumb and forefinger, moved it into a distant food box.

Seeing the three men exhale in relief, Jiang Jiu sat on the floor, silent, just watching them.

“Cherish your life—stay away from tea cakes!”

Jiang Ling nodded.

“You actually swallowed it?”

Jiang Ling scratched the back of his head, looking sly. “Heh, I’m clever! I didn’t swallow—I kept it stuck at the top of my esophagus and just vomited it out.”

King Jiang looked proud. “I ate very little. Seeing you all vomiting, I gagged myself and threw it all up—last night’s dinner included.”

Jiang Jiu looked to Jiang Che, who was aggrieved to the point of tears. He was the only one who had actually eaten it.

“I’m doomed. I ate two and didn’t throw up. Now I’m dizzy—am I beyond saving?”

Jiang Jiu shook her head. Ah, what rare specimens of humanity.

[Little Rascal, is there an antidote for that poison on the tea cakes?]

[Don’t worry, Little Rascal is invincible! Master, here you go!]

A bottle of pills appeared in Jiang Jiu’s hand, with a label: This is the antidote.

Three dark lines appeared on Jiang Jiu’s forehead. “These are for indigestion. Would you like one? My master gave them to me.”

Chong Li protested: How did I not know I could make such ridiculous pills?

The three men, upon hearing there was medicine for indigestion, each took one in haste.

Jiang Ling let out a satisfied sigh. “Ah, truly a miraculous elixir!”

[Master, Jiang Jiu’s family all resemble a certain creature.]

[Which one?]

[Roebucks. Foolish roebucks!]

No argument allowed.

Suddenly, Eunuch Lin called King Jiang to attend to some state affairs. Jiang Ling and Jiang Che went to help, leaving Jiang Jiu alone in Phoenix Pavilion.

Jiang Jiu still couldn’t believe a person’s cooking could make others vomit.

After confirming no palace staff was nearby, she walked to the food box holding the tea cakes, opened it, sniffed—nothing particularly odd, and it didn’t look especially unappetizing.

She tentatively picked up a piece and bit off a corner.

Damn it, if this isn’t self-inflicted, what is...

It tasted like mud, mixed with salty and spicy notes. One bite revealed a half strand of hair inside.

Put this on the battlefield, and the enemy would surrender after one taste.

“Ugh, ugh!” Jiang Jiu smacked her lips; the devilish flavor lingered, and only after rinsing her mouth with tea did she feel better.

Little Rascal was laughing so hard in the space that it could barely breathe. [Master, why not take an indigestion pill yourself? It might help.]

Jiang Jiu opened the antidote bottle, swallowed a pill, and left Phoenix Pavilion, that place of trouble, for the safety of her Tangli Hall.